A friend told me that someone she knew had recently had a miscarriage and she didn’t know how to help them. Unfortunately the only thing they really want- not to be in this situation of losing a pregnancy- isn’t something you can buy or make or bake.
So the next best thing?
- Be there. Simple enough. One friend took time off of work (she’d even carpooled that day and at a moment’s notice her coworker drover her to my house) to watch Netflex with me.
- Share your Netflix/Amazon Prime/etc password with them if they don’t have an account. Especially if your credit card info is saved on Amazon (KIDDING) (Don’t tell my other friend’s ex-boyfriend’s roommate that we used his password to watch Netflix.)
- Do their laundry, their dishes, their errands.
- FOOD. I know the experience for everyone is different. For me, the physical pain with a side order of grief made me loose my appetite. Why then would I want food? Because I still needed to eat! I wasn’t thinking much about grocery shopping or cooking so having friends drop off a pizza (or get them a gift card for take-out) was SO appreciated.
- Reading material- in the first few days I wanted things that would take my mind off of what was happening- magazines, novels. But eventually, I sought out literature on pregnancy loss. The hospital wouldn’t let us leave without a copy of Miscarriage: A Book for Parents by Joy Johnson. My insurance company sent me After Miscarriage: Medical Facts and Emotional Support for Pregnancy Loss by Krissi Danielson. This is where I’m sure personal preference is HUGE. I found the later of the two to be much more helpful than the former. I’m sure others would think differently. I recently received Loved Baby: 31 Devotions for Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Baby After Pregnancy Loss. I’m still reading it, but am already impressed by the honest, thoughtful writing of Sarah Philpott. Of the three books I mention here, this one presents, I would say, as the most “gifty” in nature. (Pun intended!) If you want to make it super gifty, it is available with a bracelet at http://allamericanmom.net/product/loved-baby-bundle-loved-bracelet-devotional-book/ As the name implies, Loved Baby brings with it a Christian viewpoint which can certainly be comforting at a tough time, just make sure you know that your recipient would agree!
On that note, I am honored to have received a copy of Loved Baby to give to one of my readers. I hope it will bring someone the comfort the crave. To enter to win, please comment below with your name (stage names accepted). Giveaway will close Friday at 6pm and the winner will be posted in the comments. Please check back to see if you’ve won!